Get all 13 John H Maloney releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Checking Out, By The Time, All is Not Lost, Just Say It, And Then, Snake Central Mechanisms, What You Don't Know, Back to Point A, and 5 more.
1. |
Maelstrom
04:37
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Anxiety overtakes me
What ifs flooding through my mind
Nothing more than unending catastrophizing
Leaving reason far behind
What could I have overlooked this time
That crossed the line
But if I can just keep these plates spinning
Then it all might be alright
I won't have to deal with the uncertainty
Or face up to all that fight or flight
Still I'm sure they’ll come crashing down on me
Eventually
A maelstrom that sprung from nothing
Of any consequence
Supported by years of fear
But no evidence
And I can't see a real solution
Only my fleeting grip on hope
Cause all I've got is another pointless ritual
That just might help me to cope
But it's only magic in my head
From lies I've bred
Those lies that I tell myself to
Tell me I'm okay
But just drag me even deeper
Till I've locked myself away
With care and precision I crafted this cage
Convinced that I'd be safe within
And I swore to myself that I wouldn't engage
With all of that chaos
But I see it's a game I can't win
So now I know I need to break free
Pick the lock and get out of here
Learn to embrace all of that chaos I’ve avoided
Before I waste another year
It's so far from everything I know
But even so
That maelstrom from nothing's become
A much worse consequence
Than anything I've tried to avoid
It simply makes no sense
To continue these rituals and lies
That won't make me okay
When life keeps showing me
That there is a better way
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2. |
Will I Remain?
02:12
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Overload
Takes its toll on me
Starte to erode
My functionality
I'm not sure
What's going on
Anymore
I'm too far gone
I'm bound to break
It's far too much for my
Head to take
I'm losing touch
With what I feel
It's all going numb
Can't tell what's real
Or what I've become
I know I'll get through this eventually
But until then just what will it do to me
Will I remain
Someone I recognize
When this addled brain
Stabilizes
Will I come back
Or have I been pushed
Too far off track
And begun to crack
All I need
All I'm asking for
Is a chance to breathe
And rest my mind before
I collapse
And burn away
Though perhaps
It'd be better that way
I simply don’t see where I can go from here
And nothing is helping to make it clear
It’s all just a blur that I can’t quite recall
If only I could comprehend it all
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3. |
What You Don't Know
03:12
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You think you know what's coming
So you brace for impact
But there's no getting around
One simple fact
There's a myriad of possibilities for what will be
Far more than anyone could possibly foresee
There's just no way for you to hedge your bet
You know that you don't know near enough yet
You've managed expectations
To try to minimize harm
Because you’ve convinced yourself
That there’s cause for alarm
You just can't see how there's any chance that you will be okay
No matter what all of the evidence might say
You're so sure that your in a tragedy
But don't you think it's time to set yourself free
Expecting the worst will never spare you from any pain
It only steals your joy with its mind-numbing refrain
It can feel vulnerable
To hold onto hope
Especially when you've spent your life
Walking on a tightrope
After so long underestimating what you can achieve
It can be so difficult just to let yourself believe
But you know that's what you need to do
If you want to see your true self break through
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4. |
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There may be fires burning in my backyard
But I've been busy watering the lawn
And while I might admit that it isn't hard
To figure out just what's been going on
I know that I would get right to it
If I only had the chance
But until then I’ll have to get by
On blissful ignorance
I'm just a bit overwhelmed by everything
And now I can't tell where I should begin
I just don't see how I can do anything
To dig my way out of this hole I’m in
So I retreat to a position
Of desperate indifference
And do what I can do distract myself
Into blissful ignorance
Why can’t I just stay ahead
And out of my head
I know I just need to choose some place to start
It doesn’t really make a difference where
Stop letting indecision tear me apart
And finally let myself come up for air
It's long past time for me to notice
That it just doesn't make much sense
To keep on running away from my life
Into blissful ignorance
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5. |
Past Midnight
02:59
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Scatted melody ...
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John H Maloney New Jersey
John H Maloney singer. songwriter, ukulele player and poet based in New Jersey, USA
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