Get all 12 John H Maloney releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of By The Time, All is Not Lost, Just Say It, And Then, Snake Central Mechanisms, What You Don't Know, Back to Point A, Allons-y, and 4 more.
1. |
Pieces
03:27
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What could it be
I've forgotten that I didn't want to know
Implausibly
I cannot understand
Carried away
By what I thought I'd buried long ago
Needless to say
This is not what I planned
But deep underneath
This cracked facade that I show the world
Pieces of me fight to be released
Bearing their teeth proving to me
That they won’t stay hidden
What will I do now that
They’re breaking through
Losing control
To what I thought that I'd compartmentalized
It takes its toll
On my security
Turns me around
Up and down until I finally realize
What I have found
Could be the best part of me
A little complication
Amidst all of my hesitation
grounding me confounding me
As much as I may want to hide
I need to set my fears aside
Wide-eyed just take the ride
I can't be sure
Whether I have made the right choice or not
What I'll endure
When it's all said and done
But so it goes
Now that it's the only choice I've got
And I suppose
That it's only begun
Out from underneath that
Cracked facade I once showed the world
Pieces of me have finally released
Sinking their teeth deep into me
Now that they're unbidden
What can I do
Now that they've broken through
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2. |
Forgotten Friend
04:23
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I see my old forgotten friend
In the mirror once again
Still full of hope and so
Alive behind the eyes
And I don't know what to do
When it comes to facing you
And al those pieces I don't
Want to recognize
Won't you please just set me free
And quit reminding me of who I'll never be again
Far too many wasted years
Spent losing ground to my worst fears
Life slipping by as I sink
Faster than a stone
Here I sit in this hollow place
With all these scars time won't erase
And all I know is that
I'm better off alone
I wish I could let me go
And just keep on sinking further down below but then
What if I could find that something left inside
The piece of me that doesn't want to run and hide
And turn that ember into a fire burning bright
To light my way out of this cold and empty endless night
Just maybe I might find my way
Into a better brand new day
And hold on to that hope
That I once thought was gone
It may not happen overnight
But I think I could be alright
But now I know that
I've got to be moving on
Although, I’m not sure that I trust
It’s even possible, I must do what I must
To try to make it there somehow
And if I don't start to make those changes now then when
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3. |
Beneath the Surface
04:40
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When it's all said and done
And your last chance has come and gone
How will you break your fall
And find the will to carry on
Will the price be too high
More than your pride can bear to spare
Or will you force it down and
Convince yourself that you don't care
Beneath the surface of your suffocating heart
Past the overthinking that is pulling you apart
Lie all of the emotions that you won't let yourself feel
The only way you're ever going to heal
Maybe you've found yourself
Too close to the edge and looking down
Or watched the water rise
Over your head and you’re scared you'll drown
We all get overwhelmed
And feel our backs pressed against the wall
It can be tempting to
Try not to feel anything at all
But closing yourself off from
So much of who you are
Just because you think you might
Avoid another scar
Won’t help you when you realize that you just don’t know yourself
Because you’ve left your heart up on a shelf
I know you're worn down
From how many times you've tried
And how it seems like fate
Is never on your side
Embrace the chaos of that
Storm that you feel
Building up inside
Release the hurt you've carried
And finally ease your mind
You know it's time to truly
Leave the past behind
It's only once your heart has brightened that you'll see
Just who you really want to be
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4. |
Used To Be
04:43
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It may have been half a lifetime
But it feels it was just yesterday
And I don't quite know what to say
Without a single warning
A memory grips me and I’m gone
With nothing left to dwell upon
Except some half-forgotten fragment of my past
That I just keep falling back into as if the moment never passed
Lost in a vision how it used to be
Or how I choose to see
The way it may have been
A quiet admission that I don't want to see
The cold reality of the state I'm in
Somewhere safely distant
From the pressing here and now
Everything melt away, somehow
I no longer have to worry
How I'm going to make it through
Or if there's nothing I can do
I disappear into a haze of memories
that keeps me safe from having to see either the forest of the trees
So maybe I should try to stay focused on the present day
Instead of letting it all just slip my mind
And if I could find a way to keep these memories at bay
Then I wouldn't always fall so far behind
I think it could get better
If I'd only change my ways
Pull myself out of this haze
And I know it won't be easy
Facing what's in front of me
But it's what I need to see
And now and then I'll let myself slip off track
To turn away from what's oncoming and take some time for looking back
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5. |
Brain Fog Blues
02:35
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Yes I know how it looks
And I'll concede
That I may seem thoughtless
But please don't misread
I just can't make myself
Do so many things I need to do
I've always wished that I
Could change my ways
Though it might look different
On my better days
But then I'm right back to
Stumbling through this maze it's true
Sometimes it feels like
I'm on top of everything
But then the fog rolls in again
And I can't say which way
My mind is gonna swing
Just that it will so then
It's all a matter of when
But now and then it all
Changes midstream
And suddenly I hit the
Opposite extreme
Tunnel vision takes me and I
Just can't seem to look away
So every hour I watch
A day go by
Can't think of anything else
But why would I try.
It's all I care about,
Though if you asked me why I couldn't say
If only I could keep my mind
From leading me astray
Then maybe I might finally find
A reason to stay and not just drift away
Yeah I might feel like
I'm on top of everything
But the fog's rolling in again
And I can't say which way
My mind is gonna swing
Just that it will so then.
Maybe it doesn't matter when
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6. |
Memento Mori
03:03
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Counting down what's left of my tine
All those hills I’ve still to climb
And watching it all slip away
There’s so much that I haven’t done yet
And I’m not ready for my sun to set
Still it’s all I can see anyway
But I know that’s not how the story goes
How and when the curtain will close no one knows
I've settled for a fatalistic vision
But it's just a losing proposition
And it's time that I let it go
There's no way I'l ever be able to think straight
Fixating on some arbitrary end date
I just wish I'd realized years ago
That the clock will run out when it will
And until then I’ve got time to kill space to fill
A certain uncertainty
Reassures me
That I've got no way to know
What exactly will be
So there's just no good reason
To try to pretend
I have any idea
How it's going to end
So I don't have any need to worry
Or be in any kind of hurry
When there's just nothing that I can do
I'll try to enjoy the time that I've got
And not stress out about missing my shot
Just continue to carry on through
And someday when it comes to an end
I'll be glad that I got to attend
But until then
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7. |
Words Cannot Express
02:11
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Da ba da ba da ba da ba da
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John H Maloney New Jersey
John H Maloney singer. songwriter, ukulele player and poet based in New Jersey, USA
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